My heart is just sick today thinking about the families of the victims of the Connecticut elementary school shooting. I can't even fathom what would bring a person to hurt, let alone kill, innocent children. Just looking at my sweet babies sends me into an emotional whirl, and I have to hide while I cry for those poor little kids and their families.
Then, to add to the emotion, Natalie brought home this book from her visit to her school library.
She asked me to read it to her when I was already a ball of emotions. I haven't wanted to tell her about what happened, so I tried to hold it together while I read it. Each page had a different animal parent who asked their child how many kisses they wanted that night. Blake was on one side of me and Natalie on the other while I read it, and I gave them the number of kisses that the animal gave to her baby on each page. The kisses increased up to a billion. Natalie said at that point, "You can't give us a billion kisses". I surely wanted to, especially just thinking about those parents who wouldn't be able to kiss their sweet children that night, and I had mine right next to me.
I ache for their parents, who will forever remember each Christmastime, the horrific happenings of this day. How could anyone be so cruel? The poor families who will miss seeing a child run down the stairs on Christmas morning to open gifts that Santa has brought.
The little things I do and experience each day as a mother that I so often take for granted....hearing their laughter, reading them stories, making breakfast for them, dressing them, watching them play "make believe", taking Natalie to school, listening to their little angel voices sing, asking Natalie about her day at school, tucking them into bed and kissing their sweet foreheads, waking up with them when they have nightmares and telling them that everything will be ok...things that those parents will no longer be able to do. I will hold my babies a little closer now. I will tell them I love them more.
The past Thursday was a really hard day for me as a mother. The kids were fighting and misbehaving and ignoring most everything I said all day. I was frustrated and impatient and angry. What those parents wouldn't give for another day with their child...even a bad day. I want to be more patient and understanding and slower to anger with them.
I wish I could shelter my kids from all the evil of this world. I'm afraid for their futures. Days like this make me really look forward to the second coming, when everything will be perfect and good again.
I think about how I feel right now and then I just try to imagine what Heavenly Father must be feeling looking down on the world as these things happen. He must just weep for his children-both the victims and the evil gunman who caused such a thing.
The only peace I can feel right now comes from my knowledge of the life hereafter-that families are eternal and that those parents will be reunited with their sweet children. I have hope and a sure knowledge that they are being encircled in their Savior's arms in heaven right now.
There is still good in the world...lots of good. I know that. It's just hard to remember it on days like this.
1 comment:
What a sweet post. Brought tears to my eyes.
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